Nonverbal Messages

In chapter 6 it mainly focuses on nonverbal communication. One thing I want to focus on is the different types of nonverbal communication. Things like gestures, body movement, posture, face and eyes are elements of nonverbal communication. When I am speaking with someone and they’re reacting with these types of nonverbal messages, I generally make my own assumption on what they mean. This can be very deceiving because they might not mean to make a certain facial expression. Also people perceive them differently. For example, if I was talking to them and facial expression was smiling. They could perceive that I am laughing at them or not taking the conversation seriously, when really I am just agreeing with them with smiling. Sometimes when people aren’t making eye contact with me I start feeling flustered. This can affect my communication with that person because it’s very distracting. One thing I think I can do is to be aware of these nonverbal messages. Also one thing I think would help is talking to the people that know me the best like my family and friends and ask them which type of nonverbal messages to I portray. This will be a good way to change because there things I am not aware of. I believe that everyone should do this because there is always room for improvement.

Opinions/facts when communicating

In chapter five language barrier and bridge, I thought disruptive language was a very interesting topic. I believe that fact –opinion confusion- happens all the time whether we mean to or now. When people state facts in conversations then it can be verifies as true or false. When opinions happen in conversation they tend to be unnecessary arguments. Like myself I am a very opinionated person and I can get myself into unnecessary arguments with people. I feel like my opinion matters and I try to take control of the conversation. I need to learn to find the facts before stating my opinion. It’s not a bad thing to have an opinion about something, but having facts will help back up my opinion. When you are communicating with someone, one things that I realized was using the word I. When I am stating my opinion, using I before my opinion helps take responsibility for my thoughts and opinions. The problem I was having before was using the word it when stating my own opinions. This is a problem because it doesn’t show ownership when communicating. For example when I say it was nice hanging out with you tonight doesn’t show ownership. On the other hand when I say I enjoyed the time we spent together sounds more personable.

Emotions

In chapter four I read about what emotions are. It is hard to say what emotions are because it’s a feeling and it’s hard to put into words. In the book it explains there are several different components to feelings. I personally think that I am very in touch with my feeling and emotions because I have been through a lot of crazy situations. I think the hardest part about emotions is explaining how you are feeling when you are experiencing certain emotions. I am very good at understanding what type of emotion it is when I am feeling it. Sometimes when I get so angry I start to cry because I don’t know what else I can do with my anger. Anger is the most effective emotion because it has so many components. Sometimes when there are too many things going on at once in my life, I have an emotional roller coaster. I feel different emotions back to back and sometimes it confuses people around me who are witnessing it. Emotions play a huge part in my actions for example, if I am in a bad mood and I am tired, angry, and annoyed I will communicate differently and my actions will be irregular.

Stereotying

In chapter 3 I read about stereotyping. Many of my friends do this quite a bit and even though I think its mean I am guilty of it also. Many times when you first meet someone we tend to be very stereotypical because as humans we are very assumptive. It’s very hard not to stereotype somebody because you constantly are evaluating people. This can be very deceiving because it affects they way you act towards them and definitely how you communicate with them. There is a lot of stereotyping that happens between genders in the media, school, and even at home. Some is very unnoticeable because we are so used to it because it’s so common. In a way I view stereotyping to be almost sexist. When I was in middle school I played football with the boys. Many peoples first reaction was “Girls are too weak to play” or “She will get hurt because she won’t know what she is doing.” Since people are so used to seeing guys play football they automatically stereotyped me because it was not the norm. The main reason why people stereotype is because they are not used to a situation or they have been told that this is how things have to be.

Self Concept :)

In chapter 2 I read about changing yourself concept and having realistic perception of yourself. It is definitely a lifetime process of improvement because humans are always constantly learning new things about themselves. There is no way to prefect your self concept but you can learn to accept yourself for who you are. I think that my biggest problem is that I listen to what people tell me so if someone says that I am bad at spelling then it tends to make me feel dumb. I need to learn to take criticism. Accepting my flaws and growing from them will help me with myself concept. Having a realistic self concept of yourself is very important because if you don’t then you will keep letting yourself down. I see this with a lot of guys because they communicate like they are tough and all strong. They put a self perception that they are untouchable and unemotional. It’s good to recognize your strengths but it is important to watch how you express them. One thing I learned about in life about self concept is that if you surround yourself with positive people. If there is constant negativity then you will be negative and eventually it will rub off and you and your self concept will be affected.

Self Etseem

In chapter two creating and presenting the self I read up on self esteem. This is something I have always had a problem with because in our society there is such a high standard image you have to live up to. All the models in the magazines are skinny tall and flawless. I am short, thick and definitely not flawless so my self esteem is not the best. This affects my communication skills with people sometimes because I can get insecure. When that happens I tend to get quite and nervous. When I am out with my friends or people I know I usually am outgoing and very chatty. When people look stuck up or is very into them I get insecure because I think they are looking down at me. I need to work on accepting myself so my confidence while communicating will improve. Since I have been working in customer service I have seen a dramatic improvement because I am always talking with different people but I have a lot of things I need to work on. Self esteem is important to have because it goes hand and hand with communication. If you’re confident then you will be good at speeches talking in front of a group of people. My goal is to be able to perfect this so I can be a great business women.

Principles

In chapter 1 a First Look at Interpersonal Communication I wanted to talk a little more about one area on this chapter that I thought was interesting. I carefully read more in depth about the principles of communication because I thought it was important and interesting. I learned that it is impossible not to communicate. I never realized this until I read this in the book. Even if you have the best poker face you still get off feelings and emotions without knowing you do this. When you decode the messages in a conversation many people tend to take the wrong way. This can be avoided by simply thinking before you talk or phrasing it the correct way. One principle that I found humorous was communication is unrepeatable. I found this funny because there is so many times I am with some of my goofy friends and they tell a great story and I can’t retell it to someone else. Communication is very interesting that way because it’s always in the moment. Many people tell me I look like snob when they first meet me because I give off a vibe. This is another principle of communication which is communication can be unintentional. I have been guilty of accuses people for being rude when they’re not. It comes down to how you present yourself and how you phrase things.