Conflict Styles

In chapter 11, managing interpersonal conflicts, the text gave great examples of conflict styles. Avoiding is a conflict style when someone is not assertive and they tend to stay clear away from problems. One of my close friends is like this and she tends to have a lot of built up aggression with people. Accommodating is when you let others to explain their point of view. This is a way that can also make people have built up aggression and it’s not good to walk around with a chip on your shoulder. Competing is when you only seeking to resolve the conflict your way. This is not a good way to approach conflict because people will tend to resent you and it can ultimately ruin relationships. Compromising is when you both give a little and lose a little. This is a great way to be fair. I personally believe it is the healthiest way you can resolve problems because it shows you care about the relationship rather than the conflict. Collaborating is another healthy way to resolve conflict because it’s a win-win solution. It a way to make sure everyone is satisfied. It’s a great way to approach conflict and it’s a happy medium for everyone.

Disconfirming Messages

In chapter 10, improving communication climates, the text discusses the importance of knowing the climates in relational communication. There various ways of disconfirming messages one in which that was discussed in the text was an impervious response. This is very common in messages because it’s when someone ignores another person. I thought this was very interesting because the place I am working at did this to an employee and they ended up quitting. This shows that it can be very powerful and you should be careful when you’re ignoring someone. Another way of disconfirming messages is verbal abuse. This is also very common and completely unhealthy when communicating. This is a way to psychologically abuse someone with mental pain. This happens in a lot in relationships and is usually when you are cutting someone one down verbally. Generalized complaining is another way of disconfirming. This is when we are characterizing fault of someone else. Interrupting is another way that can be a way of disconfirming someone. This is when we speak before another person is done talking. I personally believe that this shows that you are not interesting in the other person’s ideas or thought. An irrelevant response is when you respond to another person’s idea to something that is off topic. These are some of the many disconfirming messages discussed in the text.

confirming communication

In chapter 10, improving communication climates, the text discusses the importance of knowing the climates in relational communication. The term used in the book communication climate, refers to the type of tone used when communicating. In the text they discuss to different types of confirming messages. There are three messages that help confirm messages. The first way of confirming messages is recognition. This is known to be the easiest and most fundamental way to confirm messages. The lack of recognition is things like not returning a friends message or avoiding them for your own personal reasons. Another way of confirming messages is acknowledgment. This is a way to acknowledge ideas and feelings of others around you or in your life. The most common way of acknowledgement is listening. I feel this is very important because you are taking time out of your life to acknowledge a person you care for. This shows you are interested in someone else’s opinions and ideas. Endorsement means to confirm someone else’s ideas and agree with them so there is improvement in their relationship. This is a way to value and show agreement. Overall these three ways of confirming are very important to show your interest in your relationships.

2nd, 3rd and 4th dimensions of intimacy

In chapter 9, intimacy and distance in relational communication, the text discusses the different dynamics of intimacy. Another dimension of intimacy that I thought was interesting was intellectual sharing. When someone shares personal ideas with one another it’s a form of intimacy. Having interest in someone else’s life is a way to show being intimate. This is something that I do with friends, family and my significant other because I feel that it’s powerful. The third dimension of intimacy is emotional intimacy. This is when people share important feelings with one another. This develops a level of closeness. In the book it explains that you don’t need to be face to face with someone to show this type of intimacy. Many people have online relationships where they feel they same closeness with a person. I thought this was very interesting because I never thought of it in this way before. The fourth dimension that they discuss in the text is shared activities. This something that you can share with anyone and it doesn’t have to be with a significant other. This means that you do activites with people and it creates a bond and closeness. I do this with my friends when we go out on the weekends. With my co workers we work together on a daily basis were it creates a level of intimacy.

physical intimacy

In chapter 9, Intimacy and Distance in Relational communication, the text discussed the dimensions of intimacy. Overall intimacy has many different dimensions. There is not just one definition of intimacy. I personally feel that intimacy varies on the type of relationship you are in. Intimacy is very important in relationships but if you don’t love yourself then it is hard show intimacy to someone else. To me, intimacy means to have a close bond with someone. You need to trust them to show intimacy. If there is no trust then it’s hard to be on a personal level with them. The first dimension that the text discussed about intimacy was physical intimacy. This is very interesting because this is something that is hard to explain in words. Mother’s and a baby they feel a bond and intimate feeling of closeness that is hard to put into words. Physical contact like hugging, holding, and cuddling are all types of physical intimacy that people share with each other. Many people feel that physical intimacy means that it’s sexual. Clearly this is not the case, my family gives hugs to everyone we feel intimate with. This is a bond that can live a lifetime and its very important in everyone’s life.

Communicationg about relationships

In chapter 8, communication and relational dynamics, the text discussed about the way we communicate about relationships. In relational messages, there are two main components. One is the relational message which is when we communicate a message with one or more social needs. We do this because we want control, affection, and respect. There are four categories of relational messages. Affinity is when we communicate messages with the degree for which we show that we like and appreciate each other. I see this a lot when people first meet someone who their attracted to and the communicate messages that involve their appreciation towards them. Immediacy refers to when we show interest and attention towards others. Respect is another form of communicating about relationships. This happens when we hold people esteem. These messages are when we communicate messages that convey respect. This is very important when forming relationships because when you respect them when communicate their likely to respect you back. Personally I think that respect is good to express when communicating. Control is another reason why we communicate about relationships. This is when both parties use communicate controlling messages to influence the other person. I see this a lot in toxic relationships.

rewards

In chapter 8, communication and relational dynamics, the text explained why we form relationships. I have discussed in my last 2 blogs about the reasons why we form relationships. The main reason why we form relationships is because of rewards. This is something that can be interpreted in different ways. One form of relational rewards is a greater value then costs. So basically we get emotional satisfaction and feel rewarded when are with someone. One of my friends is a good example of this because she is very fun to hangout and has a great personality. I feel rewarded when I am hanging out with her because she makes me laugh and is very positive. She gives of great vibes and it’s a reward to have a friend like her. Another form that can be interpreted is when people chose their relationships based on materialistic rewards. Personally I view it as the same as using and coning people. Another one of my friends from work does this when she is looking for a boyfriend. Whenever we go out she is always checking out guys who have flashy clothes and cars. People do this all the time, I feel that if do this then your relationship will be focused on unimportant things and will turn into an unhealthy relationship.